Frozen Lies
by Lindstrom
Summary: What if the king was lying when he said Elsa was born with her powers? Children have no choice but to trust their parents, even when those parents are untrustworthy.
1. Chapter 1 - The Last Day of Childhood

**Author Note: These first two chapters are the events in the movie, with the addition of memories and thoughts that add in the twist. My original story picks up in Chapter 3. **

**Arendelle and all its characters and the movie events belong to Disney. Obviously.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 1 - The Last Day of Childhood<strong>

Dreams were safe. Under a sky sparkling with the northern lights, a castle perched on an island in a fjord, fortified and positioned to protect the village and kingdom that clung to the side of steep mountains. Turrets, battlements, narrow windows set into outer walls built three feet thick of mortared stone, a wall that marched from the castle up the mountainside: all promised to protect and defend its inhabitants from any invader. All the defenses faced outward, and there were none to protect against the danger already inside. But her dreams were still safe.

Crown Princess Elsa smiled in her sleep, dreaming of summer. Blue moonlight spilled through a tall triangle of a window, cross-hatched with diamond windowpanes, but in her dream, sunlight, bright and hot, lit a meadow full of flowers and beat down on her head.

"Elsa! Psst!"

And of course, her little sister Anna was running through the meadow with her, plucking flowers and trying to get her attention, climbing on her when Elsa fell into the flowers.

"Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!" The real Anna took the place of the dream Anna, but Elsa didn't want to leave the summer sunshine.

"Anna, go back to sleep," she said.

Anna sprawled over her sister. "I just can't! The sky's awake, so I'm awake, so we have to play!"

Elsa allowed herself to wake up long enough to tell Anna, "Go play by yourself," and heaved her sister off of her and onto the floor, then cuddled back down to find the dream meadow again.

The dream meadow faded permanently away as Elsa woke up, which was impossible to avoid with Anna climbing back up to sit on her and peel her eye open with a hand. "Do you want to build a snowman?"

Well, maybe the summer meadow could wait for another dream. Elsa's eyes popped open and she smiled, rolling out of bed and letting Anna tug her down the stairs, calling "Come on, come on, come on!" as Elsa tried to shush her with a finger to her lips even while she was giggling herself.

Anna ran into the ballroom, and Elsa shut the enormous doors behind them, both of them bubbling with laughter and excitement. Everyone else was asleep, and they had the castle to themselves. Elsa wasn't supposed to do the magic, but there was no harm in it as long as no one ever found out.

Anna was already squealing, "Do the magic! Do the magic!"

With Anna, the magic was fun, and not frightening like it was when she was alone or with Papa. Anna made everything fun. Elsa smiled, rubbing her fingers together and creating a snowball framed in blue sparkles. "Ready?"

When Anna said yes, Elsa threw the snowball to the ceiling, where it exploded and shimmered blue sparkles all over the room. Both girls had their hands up to catch ice sparkles, and Anna went dancing and laughing in a circle around Elsa, calling out, "This is amazing!"

And with Anna, it was amazing, not terrifying or dangerous.

Elsa had a new trick to show Anna, one that she'd only just discovered herself. She smiled at Anna and said, "Watch this!" She set her foot down and ice spread smoothly over the floor, taking Anna with it as she went sliding away in a bevy of giggles.

Soon, there was enough snow to build a snowman. Anna heaved the snowball up on the other one. "Now we need a head!"

"I'll do the head, Anna. You just watch," Elsa said.

Anna obligingly sat on a bench, swinging her feet, all excitement and smiles as Elsa carved a funny head and planted a carrot nose before turning him around and introducing it to Anna in a silly voice. "Hi, I'm Olaf and I like warm hugs."

Anna ran to hug Olaf's face and declare, "I love you Olaf!"

Then they went ice skating, Elsa using a stream of cold power to propel herself around the room, with Olaf between them, skating with Anna.

Elsa left Olaf behind and struck out on her own. "Come skate with me!" Elsa called. "Watch me!" She slid across the ice, managing a small cautious turn before she fell.

"My turn!" Anna said, following Elsa across the ice. Anna had none of Elsa's caution, zipping as fast as she could go, landing in a snow drift when she needed to stop. Her next time across the ice, Anna jumped, flailed wildly as she came down, and shrieked with happiness when she managed to keep her balance.

"Don't fall!" Elsa warned her.

"You catch me when I do!" Anna replied, and flew across the ice again.

Elsa skated in front of Anna, cutting her off and catching her before she could land in the snow again. "Take my wrap," she said, pulling her blue dressing gown over Anna's head.

"I'm not cold," Anna insisted. She wanted to be just like Elsa, but her shivers gave her away.

Elsa skated off in nothing but her nightgown. "I'm older than you, so you have to do what I say."

"Bossy!" Anna accused.

Elsa threw a snowball at her, and the argument dissolved into a snowball fight. Elsa made sure to miss Anna most of the time. Anna had no such restraint and soon Elsa was covered in snow that didn't melt off her hands and face.

"Make the slide!" Anna demanded when she tired of throwing snowballs.

Elsa concentrated and a tall pile of snow formed at her bidding. She smoothed the front, created steps at the back, and put a soft drift at the landing. "Let's go together!" she called. With Anna safely hugged to her, the sisters slid down the slide and piled into the drift.

Anna popped out of the drift and threw snow in the air. Then she jumped out into the air, trusting Elsa to make a pile of snow for her to land in. Anna kept jumping into the air, calling out "Catch me!"

Elsa blew out another snow drift and triumphantly called back, "I got you!"

Anna started leaping faster and faster, not waiting between drifts.

"Wait, Anna!" The fun was too much for Elsa, and fear edged in.

But Anna didn't wait.

"Slow down!" As Anna flew through the air, Elsa's fear started to unravel her control. Anna wouldn't believe that Elsa couldn't keep up. She was the big sister; it was her role keep her little sister safe. But Anna was flying faster and faster. Elsa's snow piled deeper and deeper, but not in the right places. Anna was out of control; Elsa's snow was out of control. Elsa cried for her to stop.

Anna didn't stop, the smile on her face never faltering as Elsa slipped on the ice, fell, screamed her name and threw a blast of magic that didn't turn into snow. When the magic hit Anna's head, it spun her around, knocking her into a pile of snow. Anna rolled all the way down and sprawled at the bottom, still. Anna was never still.

"Anna!" Elsa screamed. She pulled Anna into her arms and watched a lock of Anna's ruddy hair turn pale blonde like her own. Like me, Elsa thought, and an immense craving for companionship filled her. If Anna became like her, she would have someone to talk to. Does it frighten you sometimes, she would ask. Can you still cry?

The rest of Anna's hair didn't change. Anna didn't wake up.

"Mama! Papa!" Elsa screamed, cuddling Anna. "Wake up, Anna, please wake up." The ice under her foot began to thicken and spread while Elsa whimpered. There weren't any tears, not anymore. The ice knocked over the snowman, then frosted over the pillars of the room and spread across the ceiling.

"You're okay, Anna. I got you!" Elsa insisted, hugging her sister tight and hoping it was true.

Her parents burst into the ballroom while Elsa was still pleading with Anna to wake up.

"Elsa, what have you done?" her father gasped in horror. "This is getting out of hand!"

Elsa cringed away from the accusation in her father's voice. "It was an accident," she pleaded with him. "I'm sorry, Anna," she said to her sister.

Mama took Anna away from her. "She's ice cold."

Elsa whimpered. She couldn't tell if Anna was cold, but it must be bad or Mama wouldn't sound so frightened.

"I know where we have to go," Papa said.

Papa knew everything. Elsa should have been able to relax now that Papa was in charge and would fix everything, but instead she tried to cling to Mama's arm and fix it herself.

Papa ran out of the room. Mama looked down at her, and Elsa tried to defend herself. "Anna wanted it. I only made so much snow because Anna wanted it." Then she looked around the room at the icicles and frost that had grown in the few minutes since she'd struck Anna. "Not so much as this," she admitted.

Mama pulled her arm away from Elsa, settling Anna in her arms while she gingerly picked her way across the icy floor, following her husband. Elsa let her go.

"Come with us," Mama said. She looked back at Elsa, and the ice under Elsa thickened fourfold.

She'd give anything to be back safe in her dream, rather than this nightmare.


	2. Chapter 2 - Two Lies About the Past

Author Note: Pabbie and the trolls are called the "rock trolls" in my story. The cave trolls are their less savory cousins.

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><p><strong>Chapter 2 - Two Lies About the Past<strong>

King Agdar rushed to the castle library. A streak of light filtered through the draperies, enough light to find what he needed. He knew where the book was. As he pulled it off the shelf, it opened to the pages he'd read so many times, but he flipped past the spells of the cave trolls, searching for how the rock trolls countered the magic of their cousins. His concern for Anna warred with his anger at Elsa. He'd forbidden her to use her powers. Now her disobedience had endangered her sister.

The map fell out of the book, and for one brief instant, the king regretted the greed that had set him on this path, but it was instantly swallowed up in anger at Elsa for ruining all his plans. If she'd obeyed him, none of this would have happened. He'd lost one daughter to magic; he must save the second one at all cost. The rock trolls would help Anna.

The groom saddled their horses and knew better than to ask questions. Agdar settled Anna's inert form as best he could on his wife's horse. He took Elsa – Idun didn't like to touch her anymore, and they couldn't leave her behind. Together, the royal family galloped out of the courtyard and across the causeway to the mainland. They headed up to the mountains, leaving a ballroom full of snow and ice for the servants to wonder about.

If they had looked behind them, they would have seen Elsa's trail of frost. A boy and his reindeer fawn saw Elsa's frost and followed them.

~###~

Papa reined in his horse in a valley of gray limestone terraces, covered with moss and punctuated by plumes of steam rising from vents in the stone into the night air. Papa helped her down before he went to help Mama with Anna. Elsa watched the three of them, and when Papa gestured her over to stand by them, she felt relieved that they still wanted her.

"Please! Help!" Papa called to no one. "It's . . . my daughter."

The rocks started to rumble and roll. Elsa pulled back further against Papa's legs, his strong hand on her head, comforting her. This place was strange, but she was strange too. Elsa suddenly wondered if they were here to help her, and not just Anna. The rocks rolled up and over and into trolls with rock bodies and mossy hair. Curious stone faces with human eyes blinked up at them. Elsa blinked back.

"It's the king!" came a murmur of surprised recognition.

The oldest troll rolled up and over. His moss robe trailed on the ground, and a necklace of glowing green rocks hung from his neck. A stone nose dominated a face that managed to look kindly and concerned, despite a sense of importance that Elsa did not associate with kindness. "Your Majesty," Grand Pabbie said, and his long grass hair waved in something that might have been a bow. He seemed to know why they were there.

Papa knelt down behind Elsa, his hand on her shoulder, but she didn't want to flee from this strange old troll. He took her hand and asked, "Born with the powers, or cursed?"

Elsa looked at her father to hear his answer to that question.

"Born with them, and they're getting stronger," Papa said.

Elsa looked down and away. She hadn't known she was born with her powers. She'd thought they'd appeared after her father took her to the cave trolls. He'd needed her to help him, he'd said, and she was the only one who could do it. Elsa had been so proud and eager to help her father. Then the cave trolls started a spell that frightened Elsa. Her father had cut both her hands, right below the thumb joint.

"We need just a little blood Elsa," he'd explained. "I'd never hurt you, and this doesn't hurt, does it?"

Desperate to do everything Papa wanted her to do, Elsa shook her head. It didn't hurt. But then she was disobedient and let it hurt anyway. She'd plunged both her hands into the snow to freeze the pain. At her father's cry of dismay, she'd clapped her hands to her eyes to hide in the manner of young children who thought they couldn't be seen if they couldn't see. The basin of snow spilled over her feet.

She knew she'd done something very wrong, but at least the spell-making stopped. But father was angry.

"This isn't what I paid for!" he shouted at the cave trolls.

"You paid for a spell. Not our fault the girl took it from you."

On the long walk home with her angry father, Elsa started to cry. Her body shook, but there were no hot tears burning her cheeks. Snowflakes hung about her.

"Stop that!" Papa ordered.

Elsa never cried again, always willing to do whatever father said. So she believed him now too. She'd been born with these powers. She looked up at Mama for confirmation, but all her attention was for Anna.

Grand Pabbie left Elsa to examine Anna. He put his big stone hand on Anna's brow and closed his eyes, and then spoke words that eased the fear gripping Elsa. "You are lucky it wasn't her heart. The heart is not so easily changed, but the head can be persuaded."

Papa nodded. "Do what you must."

"I recommend we remove all magic, even the memories of magic, to be safe."

Elsa watched as Grand Pabbie pulled a series of glowing memories from Anna's head. All of the morning's fun hung gleaming in the air as Grand Pabbie erased the ballroom and put the memories outside in the real snow, even though it was warm spring right now. Other memories came too, every time Anna had played in Elsa's snow. He erased Elsa's magic from every one. He seemed to sense her concern because he reassured her, "Don't worry – I'll leave the fun." Oh yes! All the fun that went along with Anna and being sisters would still be there. Elsa watched with interest, and as he worked, Elsa let herself hope that Papa would ask him to take the magic out of her too. He didn't.

Grand Pabbie put the memories back into Anna's head with a gentle pat of his stone hand. "There. She will be okay."

But Elsa still had magic. How could it be best to erase the magic from Anna's head and leave it in her hands? "She won't remember that I have powers?" Elsa asked, coming to look at Anna, who was still sleeping.

"It's for the best," Papa said quietly.

Elsa believed him and looked at her hands, which were now full of danger.

"Listen to me, Elsa," Grand Pabbie said. "Your powers will only grow. There is beauty in it, but also great danger." He created a glowing image in the air of Elsa, dancing in the snowflakes while people watched. It was as beautiful as a dream, and Elsa wondered if she would ever be able to dance like that. Then the dream Elsa threw a snowflake into the air that turned red with a sense of danger that Elsa could feel.

Elsa waited for Grand Pabbie to pull the magic out of that scene too, and make it ordinary like he did for Anna. He didn't. Grand Pabbie couldn't help her, Elsa realized, that's why Papa asked him to help Anna, but not her. There was something terribly wrong and dangerous about her, and no one could help her. And Papa said she was born like this; this is who she was. Her power had always been connected to fear, and now that she was afraid of herself she felt the ice in her quadruple.

"You must learn to control it," Grand Pabbie continued. "Fear will be your enemy." The red snowflake melted onto the people who turned red and angry. Elsa's dream image cowered before them, afraid, and shrieked in fear as the people destroyed her.

Elsa gasped in horror and cuddled into Papa's strong embrace, to her great relief. Papa still loved her, even though she was defective and dangerous. He would make it all right as long as she trusted him and did exactly what he wanted her to do.

"No," Papa said, "we'll protect her. She can learn to control it, I'm sure."

Elsa nodded. Control. Control as perfect as ice, locked inside her soul with the fear that was her worst enemy.

Papa went on, "Until then, we'll lock the gates. We'll reduce the staff. We'll limit her contact with people and keep her powers hidden from everyone, including Anna."

Elsa stifled a gasp at such a terrible future. She waited for her mother to say something to save her from it. She didn't. It was up to her, then. She would have to get control of the ice. Elsa stifled the fear – the fear of her powers and the fear of failure. There was so much ice in her now, she knew she would never have enough control.

~###~

Agdar met Idun's eyes briefly, and then turned away. They'd saved one daughter from the ice, and Idun knew better than to interfere with any of his decisions about the Crown Princess. Agdar lifted Elsa onto his horse and they rode home, slowly now that the urgency was gone.

This was inevitable, Agdar told himself. He hadn't meant Elsa any harm. His friend, the Duke of Weselton, told him of spells to control the weather. If he could keep Arendelle's fjords thawed and navigable a few weeks longer every year after everyone else was frozen in for the winter, they could nearly double their trade revenue. He'd just needed the spells to control the winter. The cave trolls said the spell cost blood and it couldn't be his own. He'd given them Elsa's blood. If she'd just done as she was told, she wouldn't have stolen the spell and he would have been the one who could control the winter. He'd been trying to benefit Arendelle, and Elsa had ruined it all by her disobedience. Then she'd provoked these drastic measures by disobeying him again and playing with her powers. She would have to bear the consequences.


	3. Chapter 3 - Keeping the Secret

**Chapter 3 – Keeping the Secret**

The musty smell of the stables was thick in her nose as Queen Idun cradled her small daughter to her. Agdar set Elsa down and spoke to the head groom who took their horses when they arrived back at the castle. "Make arrangements to sell the horses we use for breeding, and reduce the staff accordingly. Keep only a riding horse for my wife and myself, horses for the carriage," his gaze fell on Anna, who was still sleeping, "and a pony for Anna."

"Yes, your Majesty," the groom replied.

"I'll speak to Kai and Gerda about reducing the castle staff," Agdar told Idun, and strode off.

Idun avoided Elsa's eyes, her gaze focused on Anna. She ran her fingers down the lock of hair that was now as pale as Elsa's. Elsa. Agdar made it clear at her birth that the Crown Princess was solely his responsibility, so Idun had not interfered. Distance from Elsa was not much of a sacrifice, because she'd had a daughter of her own a few years later. By the time Agdar had brought Elsa home from a journey they should never have taken, Idun had already accepted that Elsa was not really hers any longer. Anna was the daughter of her heart. She grieved Elsa's loss from time to time, but there was nothing she could do. She wouldn't lose another one though; this last daughter was hers.

"Come, Elsa, let's settle your sister into bed," Idun said. She carried Anna through the castle back to the room the girls shared in the east wing of the castle, turning down the maidservants who came running to help. Most of them would lose their places by the end of the day – there was no reason to give them a final story to tell about the royal family.

"Mama?" Elsa asked.

"Ssh, Elsa, your sister is sleeping. Get the door for us."

Idun laid Anna on the bed, dampened a cloth in the basin, and washed her face and hands. She rubbed that lock of pale hair in the washcloth, but the color didn't change. She would try again later, with soap.

"It's the same color as mine, Mama," Elsa said.

"Yes, it is. Elsa, did you disobey Papa this morning?"

"Yes, Mama. I'm sorry, Mama. We only wanted to play. I didn't mean to hurt Anna," Elsa said, her hands clasped behind her back and her eyes on the floor.

"I know you didn't mean to hurt Anna. You love her, don't you?" Idun said with a smile.

"Oh yes, Mama! I love Anna! I love her so much!"

"You would never want to hurt Anna again, would you?"

"No Mama, not ever!"

"Do you see how her hair changed when you hurt her? Now it looks like yours. What do you think would happen to Anna if she became more like you?"

"I would have someone to talk to about things, Mama."

"Yes, but didn't you hear Grand Pabbie? Magic hurts Anna. You hurt Anna. He had to take all the memories out of her head to try and keep her safe from you. If she knows about your magic, or remembers why this lock of hair looks like yours, it could hurt her. It will hurt Anna very much if she becomes more like you because Grand Pabbie says Anna can't be around magic. You don't want to hurt Anna, do you?"

Elsa didn't answer, her blue eyes huge.

"There, there, you're a dear girl, and I know you want to do the right thing." Idun steeled herself to give Elsa a quick hug. The girl was cold as ice now, and had been for years. Idun couldn't stand to touch her. "How would you like to have your own room? I know you like the purple room in the north corridor. What if we move you there?"

Elsa nodded.

Idun smiled at her. "We'll be partners to keep Anna safe, won't we?"

"Yes, Mama."

"There's a good girl," Idun said. "Shall we take some of your clothes and dolls to the purple room right now?"

Idun closed the door behind them as they left, Elsa carrying a box of dolls and Idun with an armful of clothes.

~###~

"But when is she coming back?" Anna asked.

Papa looked at Mama, and Mama said, "Let's go ride your pony, Anna."

Anna loved to ride her pony, so she instantly agreed, sliding off her bed to take Mama's hand and rush her to the stables. "Will Elsa's bed come back to my room when we get home?"

"Let's go ride your pony, and we'll see what happens after that," Mama said.

No one ever told Anna 'no,' so that was as good as a guarantee for Anna. She ran to her pony and danced around the stables while the groom saddled Buttons for her. Mama rode the big horse, Dancer. Anna took Buttons around and around the castle garden, shrieking in excitement when Buttons splashed in the duck pond. The ducks quacked and flapped in the most amusing fashion.

"Look at the duckies, Mama!"

"I see them darling, aren't they funny?"

Mama laughed and talked more outdoors. Anna rode Buttons in a circle until she tired of it, and then got off to quack back at the ducks. Mama quacked too, which sent Anna into gales of giggles. Mama didn't even scold when Anna got her feet wet in the pond, and stayed outside with her until Anna wanted to go back in the castle. They'd waited the longest time – surely Elsa would be back in the right room by now. She ran through the castle corridor, trailing fingers down the white wainscoting, eager to have a quacking contest with Elsa and Mama. Mama was so good at quacking that she would win, Anna was sure of it, and it would be so funny.

Anna burst through her bedroom door and stopped. "Mama, Elsa isn't back yet."

"Elsa wants her own room now, Anna," Mama said.

"Can I move to her room?"

"No, sweetheart. Elsa is growing up, and big girls want their own room."

"I'm not big enough for my own room, Mama," Anna said, starting to cry. "Elsa has to come back until I'm big enough too."

"There, there Anna, don't cry. What if Mama comes to stay in your room tonight until you fall asleep? I can read you stories and brush your hair."

"All right, Mama," Anna said.

The next day, and the next day, Mama said Elsa couldn't come play.

"Is she sick?" Anna finally demanded, as that was the only reason she had ever not wanted to play with her sister.

"Yes, Anna, Elsa is sick," Papa said, coming into the room.

Anna jumped to her feet. Papa was so important that she didn't see him very often, so she was careful to be on her best behavior when he came.

"You mustn't bother her," Papa said.

"No, Papa. I will draw her a picture and give it to her instead," Anna said.

"You give me the picture and I'll give it to her," Papa said.

"But," Anna started, and then looked at Mama, who gave her the tiniest shake of her head. "Yes, Papa."

Anna drew pictures for Elsa every day, sometimes twice a day, and gave all of them to Papa in big stacks when he had time to see her. "Does she like them, Papa?"

"Yes, Anna, she likes them fine."

Anna wanted to ask if Elsa ever drew a picture for her, but Papa looked like he wanted her to go away, so she did.

Anna was as patient as she could be. She never had played very much with Elsa in the summertime, but the day it started to snow, Anna decided that Elsa had been sick long enough. She raced to Elsa's room, far away in the north corridor, and knocked on the door. "Do you want to build a snowman?" she called through the keyhole. "Let's play!" No one ever told Anna no, so she kept asking and asking. "Are you even in there or did you go away?"

At last, Elsa yelled at her to "go away!" Sadly, Anna went away, sure that Elsa was only mean because she was sick, and soon they could play again. But every time Elsa refused to answer her, Anna believed it a little bit more.

~###~

"I haven't made a mistake in two weeks now, Papa. Look, I write it down here. That's so long this time! Last month I made a mistake every week, but I haven't frozen anything for two weeks, and it was just the inkstand anyway. Can I come out now?" Elsa asked.

Papa didn't look at the calendar she kept. "That's a good start, Elsa, but two weeks isn't very long."

It wasn't? It had taken all her heart and soul to go that long without any ice or snow at all, and it wasn't very long? Ages, eons, years and lifetimes could not be longer than the past two weeks, and it still wasn't good enough.

"How long must I go without a mistake, Papa?" Elsa asked.

"Perhaps a few years would be a good start," Papa said, with a calm smile.

"Yes, Papa."

Elsa got another page for her calendar when Papa left, and drew boxes on it for days and days, then she drew a smile in the first fourteen boxes for the two weeks she hadn't made a mistake. Surely this page was big enough that when all the boxes were full of smiles, she could come out. It wasn't so far to go, as long as she didn't count them.

A sound from outside her window drew her attention, and she went to see. Some day she would be out there too, running and playing with Anna. The diamond-shaped windowpanes were warped just enough that the view outside her window was wavy, like seen from underwater. Anna's image rippled through her window. Elsa watched Anna walk along the rock border, balancing with her arms held out. Elsa never had been able to walk that border without falling, but she watched Anna do it easily.

Elsa wondered what would happen if she had to stay in her room for so long that Anna learned everything without her. Would she still be a big sister? Or would Anna not need her anymore? With that, frost poured out of her hands, coating the window sill and sending her backwards, gasping in shock. Her hands had betrayed her, and she looked around frantically for a way to get rid of the ice. If no one ever knew, she could still draw a smile on today's box. But just as quickly, the thought disappeared. She couldn't tell Papa a lie.

When Elsa confessed her mistake, Papa only said, "I have an idea."

He returned shortly with a pair of white leather gloves, just her size. "The gloves will help."

Elsa let him pull the glove onto her hand.

"Conceal it," he reminded her.

"Don't feel it," Elsa continued.

"Don't let it show," they both said as he helped her put on the second glove.

Elsa did such a good job of not having feelings that day that she knew she didn't need to gloves, but she wore them anyway. Her hands had made a mistake, so they had to disappear until they could be good enough to come back out. She was disappearing. Without her hands, she never saw anything of herself at all unless she caught her reflection in the mirror. She only ever saw a glimpse of that solemn girl with the pale blonde hair before she turned away from her. She didn't want to be that girl. She wanted to be a loud, laughing girl with red hair and freckles who could throw balls, ride her pony, and run around outside. She wanted to be Anna. But the best thing she could do for Anna was stay hidden away from her. Who Elsa was and who she wanted to be grew further and further apart.


	4. Chapter 4 - Mistakes

**Chapter 4 - Mistakes**

Gerda, the only maid Elsa ever saw, brought her a tray for breakfast, as she did every morning. The sun came up early in the summer. Elsa was standing at the window, looking at the flower bushes down below, pretending she could hear the bees buzz from up here.

"Here you are, dearie," Gerda said, bustling about, "come eat your porridge while I make your bed."

Elsa sat down at her table. "Gerda, do you like flowers?"

"Of course I do. I've got a patch of purple pansies right outside my door. You should come see them sometime. It would do you good to get out more."

At the thought of leaving her room, Elsa froze her spoon. Quickly, she dropped the icy spoon into her lap and wondered if she could drink her porridge.

"No need for that, dearie," Gerda said. "We'll just thaw it." She plucked the spoon away from Elsa, poured a bowlful of water from the pitcher she'd brought in, and dropped the spoon in.

Elsa scrambled out of her chair and came to watch. "I didn't know you knew," she blurted.

Gerda gave her shoulders a squeeze. "Who do you think cleaned up that ballroom of ice and snow you left last summer?"

Elsa stared at her, then at the spoon in the water.

Gerda fished it out and dried it on her apron. "There, good as new. Ice isn't going to bother a pewter spoon. Now you eat that porridge and toast. I want to see you finish the entire egg too. Growing girls needs good food and you don't eat enough."

Elsa sat down with her spoon and ate all the porridge. Ice didn't ruin things forever. She hadn't known that. And Gerda could know about her ice and snow and not be frightened or angry about it. She hadn't known that either.

Elsa didn't go see Gerda's pansies, but she talked about them more. Elsa was developing a hunger for everything related to summer and heat. After her tutor left every afternoon, she could stand at the window for hours, watching the sun beat down on the courtyard. The breeze that crept through the windows high above her head was warm and smelled of the sea. When the spray from the fountains was just right, she could see a rainbow. And of course, there were flower bushes all summer. Every week, something new bloomed.

One morning, Elsa asked Gerda, "Could I have a flower? In a pot, I mean. I could put it on my windowsill. I would take care of it; it wouldn't make any trouble for you."

Gerda put down her broom. "Why didn't I think of that? Of course you can have a pot of flowers. What color do you want, dearie?"

"Yellow," said Elsa shyly, "yellow like the sun."

Gerda brought her a pot with a leafy green stem. "I found you a yellow primrose that hasn't bloomed yet. You can watch the blooms open over the next few days."

Elsa was delighted. She set the pot on her windowsill where they could enjoy the afternoon sun together. Every hour she checked the plant for flower buds. Every morning she told Gerda about every new leaf and bud. The day her primroses finally bloomed, Elsa was so excited she asked her tutor if he could teach her to paint.

"Paint?" Master Wade asked.

"Paint a picture," Elsa explained. "I want to paint a picture of my flowers. I could give it to Anna."

Master Wade studied the pot. "I will ask your father."

Elsa sighed.

When Papa came, he said, "I can't have you using your hands with your tutor in the room. What if you accidentally froze your paints?"

"He could leave me the paints and brushes. I would only paint when he was gone," Elsa pleaded. "Like how I practice my writing."

"Painting is different," her father said.

"I want to give the painting to Anna."

"Who gave you the flowers?" her father asked.

Elsa clenched her hands into fists. There was no use trying to hide the answer, though. Only two people besides her parents ever came to her room. "Gerda did. I asked her. I take care of the flower, Papa. It doesn't cause her any extra trouble."

Her father thought for so long that Elsa began to fear he would take away her flower. She hid her hands beneath her skirts. Frost crept down the chair legs. She twitched her skirts to cover the frost and ice.

"You can keep the flowerpot," Papa said, "but no paints."

Elsa nodded. She needed him to leave before he saw the frost on her chair so she didn't ask anymore.

Father left. The ice burst from her hands, coating her chair and spreading out over the wooden floor in a star. Snowflakes appeared and hung in the still air. It was hours before she could get herself under control.

The next morning, Gerda opened the high upper windows to let in the warm air to thaw the chair and snowflakes. She mopped up the melted ice on the floor. Elsa tried to help, but stopped when she froze a towel.

Gerda stopped cleaning and gathered Elsa up in her arms. "There, there, dearie. There's a good girl," she murmured over and over until the ice stopped coming.

After Elsa's lessons, she stood at the window watching the summer outside. Anna was in the courtyard, playing with a ball. Red flowers bloomed on the bushes behind her.

"Those are roses," Elsa murmured to herself. She pulled off her glove. Lightly, she traced her bare finger on the window glass, leaving a trail of frost. She drew a flower in frost. It was beautiful, but white instead of yellow. She drew flowers all over her window. Absorbed in her art, she didn't see Anna staring up at her frosty window.

Something struck outside, right below her window. With a gasp, Elsa looked out where Anna was catching the ball she'd tossed to get Elsa's attention. She was waving wildly.

Elsa looked at the window. Flowers of frost covered it in the heat of summer. While she was frantically searching for a way to get rid of the frost, her hands brushed the windowsill and the entire sill iced over in spikes, pouring out from her hands and spreading quickly.

Her flowerpot! Elsa could only watch as her ice climbed the pot and covered her blooming yellow primrose. She knew it wouldn't thaw like the pewter spoon.

I wish I could cry, Elsa thought dully. Then she turned from her window and sat on her bed. Tears wouldn't make my flower live again anyway.

~###~

Outside, Anna caught her ball and stood staring anxiously up at Elsa's window. She was right there. Why didn't she open the window so they could talk? Anna waited and waited, but Elsa never opened the window.

By the time Gerda came to fetch her for supper, Anna was fretful and sad.

"Why wouldn't she open her window? She's not sick," Anna demanded of Gerda.

"Come wash up and get changed for supper," Gerda replied.

Anna followed Gerda into the castle. "I saw her there. She stood at the window for the longest time, drawing on it with chalk. She drew a whole picture on her window. She could at least open the window and wave at me."

"Hold still while I get your laces undone," Gerda said.

Anna held still for as long as she could, almost a few seconds, before whirling around and yanking the laces of her green bodice out of Gerda's hands. "Does she hate me? Why doesn't she love me enough to open the window? What did I ever do to her?"

"She can't open the window, dearie," Gerda told her. "It's nailed shut. Only the top windows open."

Anna's mouth dropped open and she drew in a long breath. "Why? Papa has to fix it! I'll tell him he has to let Elsa open her window! She's my sister!" Anna started crying and wailing.

"Your father doesn't want her to open her window," Gerda tried to explain the unexplainable.

"He has to! I'll tell him!" Anna cried.

"No, no, you mustn't do that. He'll have me sent away if you tell him I said even that much." Gerda abandoned the attempt to change Anna's dress and hugged her tightly enough that she held still. "Listen and never say this to anyone, do you understand?"

Anna nodded.

"Elsa loves you. She needs you. But she's trapped, don't you see? She can't tell you and neither can I."

"Who will tell me?" Anna sobbed.

"Dearie, dearie. I can't say any more than that. Don't ask me, please. It's all I can do to love you both without being able to help either one of you. But you keep loving your sister. That's all I can say. Elsa needs you to love her." Gerda took Anna's face in her hands and tipped her up to look in her eyes. "Believe me."

Anna closed her eyes and let the tears run off her face. "I love Elsa, and I won't tell." Someday she would love Elsa so much that Elsa would love her back and then she wouldn't feel lonely anymore.

"Good girl," said Gerda. "You're a good girl. You're both good girls. When you're older, things can sort out."

"I wish I was older," Anna said forlornly as Gerda helped her change her dress for supper.

~###~

Anna waited until she was older before she rode her bike to Elsa's door. She hadn't knocked on her door for the longest time now, but Gerda had promised that things would be better when she was older, and now she was old enough to try again. She would be so fun that Elsa would have to come out of her room. Anna knew she could get away with riding a bike in the castle. No one ever told Anna 'no,' except about this most important thing.

"Elsa! Come out and play! We can ride our bikes around the hall! I can teach you to ride a bike, Elsa. Come out! You're not sick, I don't believe it. I have a secret to tell you if you open the door," Anna coaxed her. She was going to tell Elsa that she knew the window was nailed shut, and that's why she hadn't opened it. "Elsa?"

Anna rode her bike up and down the hall a few times. No one would see her at Elsa's door and tell her to leave. There were hardly any servants in the castle anymore, and Papa was gone doing something important. Mama had one of her bad headaches. "Elsa! I'm staying here the entire day until you say something to me or open the door!"

Anna rode her bike, read a book to Elsa through the door, counted to fifty, pushed a puzzle under the door, and tried to tell Elsa a 'knock knock' joke only Elsa would never say 'who's there.' She lasted for a hundred years, or at least two hours, before she couldn't stand it anymore and got angry.

"You know what, Elsa? I get so lonely I have to talk to the portraits on the walls, and that's better than talking to you because at least I can see their faces!" Anna shouted.

The door was as silent as when she'd first come.

Anna was seized with remorse. "I didn't mean it, Elsa! You have real ears and those paintings don't! Elsa, don't be mad at me! I'm really not mad at you, I promise I'm not! I miss you, Elsa. I miss you so much." Anna started to cry. She sat down on the floor by Elsa's room and sobbed her heart out.

That's where Gerda found her an hour later when she brought Elsa her lunch tray. Gerda set the food down on one of the hall tables. "Your Highness, come with me."

"I miss Elsa," Anna cried.

"I know, dearie, I know."

Anna let Gerda lead her away. She didn't even call out good-bye to Elsa.

~###~

When she heard Anna and Gerda's footsteps walking away down the hall, Elsa let herself breathe again. It came in gasps at first, because she'd smothered her breaths for so long, trying to keep control. By the time Gerda returned, carrying her lunch tray, her breathing was normal.

"Merciful heavens!" Gerda cried out when she opened the door.

"Did I hurt her, Gerda? Did it get through the door?"

"No, dearie, none of it got through the door," Gerda said, depositing the lunch tray on the floor and shutting the door.

"I didn't hurt Anna," Elsa murmured gratefully.

Gerda couldn't clean it up. The top windows were frozen over; the water in the basin was ice; frost and icicles jutted from every surface; the air was thick with snowflakes.

"I'm not hungry, Gerda," Elsa said, creeping to her bed. The coverlet crackled with frost when she lay down on it.

"Princess," Gerda said helplessly.

Elsa cracked an eyelid. "I was so afraid I'd hurt her. The ice kept coming, and there was no way to go for help. She's not hurt, is she?"

"She's fine. Anna is fine."

"I did it right," Elsa said, closing her eyes again.

Gerda sat next to her and pulled on her until she sat up and then let Gerda hold her. Sometimes when Gerda held her, the ice stopped coming. Elsa leaned against Gerda until she felt her start to shiver.

"Is it cold in here, Gerda?"

"I'm fine, dearie, let's get you calmed down," Gerda replied.

"But I am calm, Gerda. I didn't have any feelings at all. I don't know why all this is here anyway. It must be getting stronger," Elsa said. "I want to sleep now. I'm sure it will all be gone when I wake up."

Gerda fussed, but Elsa insisted. Gerda helped her break the ice sealing the blankets and sheets together, and helped Elsa into a nightgown and into bed.

"It's soft, Gerda. Are warm things soft? Blankets are warm, aren't they?"

"Yes, dearie, blankets are warm and soft," Gerda said as she tucked her in.

"Soft is good enough for me. It doesn't have to be warm. Don't cry, Gerda. I didn't hurt Anna," Elsa said.

"You're a good girl, dearie. I'm just weepy today is all. You tuck up and have pleasant dreams," Gerda said.

"I didn't hurt Anna again," Elsa repeated before she drifted off to sleep, entirely spent by the ordeal of keeping Anna safe.

~###~

Elsa's tutor didn't come the next day, which was good because the room was still full of frost. It took days to melt enough to open the top windows. Papa came home before it was all melted. He didn't say anything. Sometimes that was worse than when he did say something.

Perhaps it hadn't happened, Elsa thought, when no one ever said anything. Perhaps it was a nightmare. But when Mama came with Papa to see her a few days after that, she knew it hadn't been a nightmare. Mama never came to see her unless Papa said she had to. Papa must have told Mama what she'd almost done to Anna through the door.

They tried to smile at her, but Elsa backed away into the corner of her room. Papa looked so fine in his blue jacket with the red sash. Mama wore a blue dress and a maroon cape. They always wore blue, which was why Elsa liked to wear blue so much, even though her favorite color was yellow. Most of her dresses were blue, like Mama's. It was a connection with Mama.

Mama looked so sad.

Frost flared out from Elsa's feet and coated the wall and wrung from her the first attempt to ask her parents for help in years. "I'm scared! It's getting stronger!"

Papa reached for her. "Elsa, calm down. Getting upset only makes it worse."

That's all he had to offer her? Advice? She shouldn't have risked telling them how she felt. He'd already told her not to have feelings and she'd disobeyed him again. She curled herself away from them. "No, don't touch me! Please, I don't want to hurt you."

She never wanted to hurt anyone, but she'd hurt them anyway; she saw it in their faces – those expressions of sadness that were never lightened by hope when they looked at her. She saw herself reflected in their eyes as the lost cause, the disappointment, the daughter with the problems they couldn't accept.

~###~

Agdar pulled the door shut behind them as they left. They paused in the corridor together. "See that Anna doesn't knock on Elsa's door again," Agdar said.

Idun only nodded.


	5. Chapter 5 - The Loneliest Daughter

**Chapter 5 – The Loneliest Daughter**

As the years passed, Anna kept telling herself that this was the year she would stop missing Elsa so much. But it never happened. Elsa was right there behind that white door with the purple painted trim. Trays of food went into the room; a tutor went into the room; her parents went into the room. All these things came back out of the room, but not Elsa.

Elsa had to stay in her room, but Anna's limits weren't much bigger. She couldn't go past the castle gates. And as she got older, the outings that had been so fun for a child weren't quite enough for a girl growing into a young lady. One day, she and Mama took yet another picnic basket to the duck pond in the castle gardens.

"I'll ask the groom to saddle our horses," Mama said.

"There's no need. It must drive those beautiful animals crazy to have to walk in such a small circle when they're born to run to the horizon and back," Anna said. What she meant was that the small circle of her life was starting to make her crazy, when she was born to explore horizons and not stay inside a stone wall.

"I'm sure they've learned contentment by now," Mama said. "We're their masters, and so we have to decide how to keep them safe."

Anna heard the message and let the conversation drop.

She found her chance to ask Papa about Elsa one evening after she turned twelve and was allowed to stay up late enough to eat supper with her parents.

"Papa, do you think the Southern Isles will have a succession crisis when King Oden dies? I understand that he has more than one son and they fight a lot," Anna said in her best grown-up voice as she twirled noodles.

"What do you know about the Southern Isles?" Papa asked.

"I saw the map on the library wall," Anna said, and left out the fact that she knew the King Oden had more than one quarrelsome son because she'd listened in when Kai had talked to one of the Councilors who came to the castle with a message.

"Anna likes to read," Mama contributed. "We've been reading poetry together."

"Maybe next we'll read a history book," Anna said. "I'm a princess, and I should learn all sorts of things."

Papa gave her a distant look, and then smiled in a way he probably thought was kind, but that Anna thought was patronizing. "Stay with your poetry, Anna."

Anna took the biggest risk in her young life. "If anything happened to Elsa, I would be queen, so I should know all the dull things that Elsa has to know. Perhaps Elsa's tutor could teach me too. Elsa wouldn't have to leave her room. I could go there for lessons."

Her parents were silent.

Anna rushed on. "I know she's sick and that's why she has to stay in her room all the time. But if she really is that sick, then you ought to be preparing me to at least be able to help her."

"There's no need to worry about helping Elsa," Papa said.

Anna restrained herself from screaming that her desire to help Elsa was at the center of her life.

"I'll be king for decades, Anna, I'm quite young myself. And we're doing what's best to keep both of you safe," Papa said.

Anna would have argued further, but she saw Papa look at Mama. It was only a glance, but Mama dropped her eyes to her plate. Anna remembered the talk she'd had with Mama after the day years ago when Anna had ridden her bike around Elsa's hallway and knocked and waited at her door.

"But Elsa is happy to hear my voice! I know she is! And I don't care if I get in trouble for knocking on her door! No one cares about that suit of armor I knocked over anyway! There's no one but us to see it! I can keep knocking on her door if I want to!" Anna had yelled back at all Mama's quiet reasons to stop knocking on Elsa's door.

"Papa doesn't like it when you knock on Elsa's door," Mama had said at last.

"I don't care! I hardly ever see Papa anyway!"

"I see him. Do you remember the time you spilled paint on the floor? You weren't scolded for it, but the cost of refinishing the wood came out of Gerda's wages because she shouldn't have left you alone with the paints," Mama replied. Mama looked at her steadily until Anna understood what she had just said. It was Mama's responsibility to make sure Anna didn't knock on Elsa's door, and Mama would bear the penalty for failure, not Anna.

Anna watched Mama take a sip of wine, then a bite of fish, and knew what she had to say tonight for Mama's sake.

"You're right, Papa. Elsa is probably happier without all my noise anyway. I do like poetry better than history. Perhaps I could read you a poem sometime."

Papa smiled in reply. But it was Mama's look of relief that closed Anna's lips on any further plea.

After that, Papa frequently had to work late on one important issue or another and he did not often join them for supper.

~###~

Anna thought often of Gerda's words that Elsa was trapped and needed Anna to love her. As time passed, Anna found a loophole in her promise to her mother. She'd promised not to knock on Elsa's door anymore, but no one said anything about talking to her. Anna would drop by, keep her hands behind her back to stifle the temptation to knock, and call out a few cheery sentences to her sister about the weather, or what she'd just done. She never stayed more than a minute or two; that way there wasn't time to feel bad that no one answered.

Gerda never said if she'd told Elsa that Anna needed to be loved too. It was the sort of question that would crush her if she heard the wrong answer, so she didn't ask Gerda if Elsa knew that. Anna loved everyone, because that's what they needed. But she wasn't sure if anyone knew how much she wanted to be loved too. She felt like she was the only lonely person in the castle. Some days she went to the library and looked at all the books about treaties, trade and history that Elsa had to learn. Elsa must be very smart and, well, boring. Mama suggested that the things Elsa had to learn were boring, and Anna was very lucky to be able to spend her days amusing herself. Anna felt guilty that she was ungrateful for her opportunities for endless fun. She wished she was important enough to learn the things Elsa was learning. It would be a connection to Elsa.

"Does Elsa miss me?" Anna asked her mother, hoping to surprise a moment of honesty from her, while they were at the duck pond with yet another picnic.

"Your father says Elsa is fine," Mama answered.

"But does she miss me?" Anna pressed.

"Look at the columbines!" Mama said, kneeling by a patch of flowers.

"I miss Elsa," Anna said.

Her mother looked at her.

"I've always liked columbines," Anna said, and gave up the hope that anyone would ever be honest with her.

~###~

When Anna was fifteen, the king and queen prepared for an ocean voyage to the Duchy of Weselton to discuss issues like trade, which Anna knew nothing about. The day of their departure, Anna walked down the long corridor towards her parents' chambers. She passed Elsa's door, hesitated for just a second, and then kept going.

She ran into her parents' room. "See you in two weeks," she said, hugging them with a smile.

"Your Majesties, the coach is ready for you," Gerda said from the doorway.

The king and queen left their rooms.

Gerda reached out towards Anna. "Come, we can see them off in the front hall."

"I don't want to," Anna said. "I already said good-bye." She couldn't force any more cheer and unconcern. Instead, she went to the stable and fed carrots to her horse. Horses couldn't talk, so they never told lies, not even lies that were supposed to keep you safe but ended up making you feel that nothing was safe.

~###~

Elsa stood at the foot of the stairs, clothed in a sedate blue gown, wearing her leather gloves. Her head was bowed. She was allowed out of her room for official duties like attending Council meetings, and this farewell.

"Do you have to go?" Elsa asked, her voice breaking.

"You'll be fine, Elsa," her father answered with that look of concern she had come to hate.

If Papa said so, then it must be true. Elsa bowed her head again, trying to believe he was right. She could govern in his absence, with the Royal Council's help. He'd pushed her into decisions and education well enough that she could decide what was best for Arendelle. But in her personal life, she'd never made her own decisions. He'd governed her with the gentle tyranny of always knowing what was best for her. She depended on her father completely for control of her powers and to keep Anna safely away from her. Without him, she might lose control or make a mistake. The consequences would be unthinkable. So she would do her best to not think of consequences. He would be home soon enough to fill the void for her.

Her mother said nothing at all.


	6. Chapter 6 - Tragedy

**Chapter 6 – Tragedy**

The weeks passed. But instead of the time bringing home King Agdar and Queen Idun, it brought news of a storm at sea, and a ship that never arrived at Weselton. There was much ado about the news, with emissaries, epistles and rumors flying around. Anna was in the thick of it, crying, hoping, begging and being so upset that everyone else was forced to calm down to allow room for her grief. They made allowances. She was their daughter, after all; the only daughter most of them had seen.

The Royal Council met frequently as it became more and more obvious that the ship would not return. Anna appeared at a meeting to cry and storm at them. She also hoped Elsa was at the meeting, but she had sent word she could not come.

"You're the Royal Council and she's the Crown Princess! How can she simply send word she won't come?" Anna demanded of them.

She was met with blank looks.

"We do not tell the royal family what to do," someone said at last, gently.

"If you can't tell her to come out, then who will? Will she simply die in her room and we'll all hold a meeting and wonder if she's gone, just like we have to guess whether or not the ship sank?" Anna was hysterical, more upset at Elsa's continued absence than at her parents' death at sea.

Anna continued to cry and make unreasonable demands. The Council was used to dealing with Elsa, quiet and withdrawn. They had no experience with Anna's open emotions. Finally, someone sent for a servant, who knew to send for Gerda.

Weeping copiously, Anna allowed herself to be led away. She didn't matter to anyone. Her parents never trusted her, never listened to her, and finally abandoned her after she asked them not to leave her. All she had left was Elsa, who also didn't trust her, or listen to her, and who had abandoned her years ago.

Anna's hysterics continued until she was exhausted. She slept like death. When she awoke, a heavy hand was on her heart. She felt muted and still. The unnatural calm was a relief after her emotional storm. She ate little, and said less.

When the powerful people finally agreed that the king and queen had died at sea, Anna didn't even cry. Her tears were done. She was agreeable to any suggestion anyone made for the funeral. The date was set. The dressmakers sewed her a black gown and cap.

Now she'll come out, Anna thought. But her intense need was gone. Whether or not Elsa came out did not have the power to hurt her anymore, or so she believed under that heavy hand.

The castle was draped in black. The monuments were carved. The year of mourning began. Elsa did not come out.

Surely she won't make me go alone to the funeral, Anna thought.

The immense stone monuments stood on the mountainside above the cemetery where the common people were buried. A crowd of townspeople accompanied the royal procession to the monuments, where Bishop Saholt conducted the service. Anna stood with bowed head, dressed in black, representing the royal family alone.

After the service, the entire Royal Council bowed to her, one by one, and spoke of King Agdar's wisdom and judgment, and Queen Idunn's beauty. They conveyed their deepest sympathies. They told her to be strong.

I don't want to be strong, I want to be loved, Anna thought. Strong people have to be alone, like Elsa.

Finally it was over. Anna wanted to remain at the monument with her emptiness. The burden of the lonely castle was more than she could bear. Almost, she asked them to leave her. It was the townspeople that decided her. She didn't want to talk to them. Most of them had never seen anyone from the royal family. She shrank away from their curiosity that would push and pull her into what they wanted from a princess, without ever knowing who she really was. She could be lonely on this crowded mountainside, or she could be lonely in the castle.

Anna walked down the mountain in her black gown and cap. The Royal Council let her take the lead, and slowed their steps to stay behind her as escort. She didn't have to talk to a single person on the way home. There was only one person she longed to talk to. Then her loneliness would be complete.

In the north corridor, Anna knocked on Elsa's closed door. One corner of her mind knew she should be furious that Elsa let her go through all of that alone. But she didn't have the energy to be furious, or hopeful. She knew how this would end and she simply wanted to get to the end as quickly as possible.

"Elsa, please. We only have each other now. I'm not strong enough to do this alone. Elsa, please open the door."

There was no answer. She'd known that before she knocked. Anna put her back to Elsa's door and slid down to sit on the floor. Out of her sadness, she went back to the last question Elsa had ever answered. "Do you want to build a snowman?"

That heavy hand on her heart was her only answer.

~###~

Elsa heard Anna. She'd heard every word Anna ever said at the door over the years. She'd stopped answering because she could never say what Anna wanted to hear, and be the sister Anna wanted her to be. Anna had always wanted more than Elsa could give.

Snowflakes hung suspended in the air in Elsa's room. Rays of frost bloomed out from where Elsa sat on the floor, back to back with Anna through the door, keeping her secret, still doing what her father wanted her to do because she didn't know how to do anything else.

* * *

><p><em>Author note:Thanks for the reviews, favorites and follows! The encouragement is nice. The next story in this series is <span>Queen Elsa's Councilor<span>: Councilor Bern was sworn in as Queen Elsa's councilor only a year before her coronation. The Royal Council was as stunned as the rest of Arendelle when Queen Elsa's ice froze the land. Shock struggles with loyalty in this story of the movie's events from the point of view of the Queen's newest councilor._


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